I guess it’s true that you’ll only realize what you’re missing until it’s gone. You’ll only get to know the value of something or someone when none of it matters anymore. And oftentimes, we regret letting go of things that we took granted of in the beginning.
I’ve always wanted to grow up fast when I was young; wishing that I was 18 when I was 8, 20 when I was 10, and 25 when I was 15. I wanted to grow up fast because the future excites me, thinking about what would life be for me 10 years from now. I often picture myself going from one profession to another – because at that time, I haven’t even decided on what I wanted to become when I grow up.
Year by year as I make my birthday wish, I only wanted one thing – to be a full-grown adult with a successful career and a happy life. I guess that’s what we all wanted to become. I wanted everything to be perfect not realising that in the real world, perfection does not exist.
Now that I’m 25 and about to turn 26 few days from now, I realized that growing old doesn’t guarantee one’s happiness, and it doesn’t assure success. Growing old doesn’t even define one’s maturity, and it doesn’t prove that one’s life experience is greater than the other. We’ve been too much focused on preempting life with things that we want to happen that we forget to live it the way that it should be lived. It defeats life’s purpose and makes it harder for us to accept things that are not meant for us.
Now I wished that I’ve never obsessed myself too much of growing old when I was younger. All the missed times when I should have just enjoyed childhood and played like what someone of my age back then used to do, all the childish things I never did and experienced which could have been a somewhat fun and hilarious childhood memories that I can share today, and all the other lost time back in the days that could have helped me piece things up to who I am today.
Yes, I miss everything in my past, all the good things and the bad, only because I know that it wont be back anymore. I know that these things may have helped me sometime in my life or have made me feel miserable in the past, but it made me who I am today.
Don’t let your ‘what was’ ruin your ‘what will be’. It should only be there to remind you of who you were. Your past does not speak for your present because people do change. The only question that you just have to ask is if that change made you the better version yourself or the person you never wanted to become.
Live your todays as open as possible; fearlessly creating new memories, accepting challenges, and continuously facing your fears. Because ‘now’ is the only time that you are sure of. The person that you are meant to be is the one that you are today. You just need to make it happen.