Before I Go

Five months have passed, but it feels like it was just yesterday. My first five months of 2018 has been full of surprises, opportunities, and self-discoveries.

Now I realize why it turned out this way; maybe it was never meant to be, to begin with. Now I understand why life had to drag me down so deep, to the point where I couldn’t even pick myself up anymore – because it wasn’t life that did it in the first place, it was the reality of being with the wrong one.

Maybe it was timing – not realizing that timing is everything and rushed into things we were never ready of.

Maybe it was destiny – telling us that what’s meant to happen will happen, but we’re not destined for each other.

Maybe it was life – making us grow, mature, and develop ourselves, individually.

It’s been five months and another chapter of my life opens. I have been working on myself the last few months – setting different goals, reaching milestones, and gaining confidence in myself once again. I’m quite enjoying this thing that I’m slowly developing within, and I intend to continue working on it.

Although not everything feels how it used to be and I honestly don’t know if it’s good or bad, what I know is that I’m slowly getting the hang of living in the moment, enjoying my “me-times”, and embracing whatever changes and challenges life would bring me.

People often ask how to forget the past. Truth is that you don’t really forget it; you don’t really forget someone, especially if that person brought you so much joy and happiness. Things, places, and circumstances would always make you remember memories, and it’s okay. You don’t forget, you just move on without that person.

Learn to accept – that all those things in the past doesn’t have a place in your future.

Learn to appreciate – those who value you, those who exert the effort to be part of your life, and those who give you their time.

Learn to continue – living, even if it means being alone. Being alone is not a bad thing after all.

There’s no exact time to tell when you’ve moved on, but you’ll know that you have when thinking of it does not bother you, remembering it doesn’t hurt you, and maybe, maybe seeing the person, does not affect you anymore. Take your time and trust the process.

And before you go, forgive. Forgive those who hurt you, those who did not value you, and those who made you feel less than what you deserve. Start your new chapter fresh without having to hold any negative feeling towards anyone from your past. And when you choose to forgive, start with yourself.

Forgive yourself – if it did not work out as how you wanted it to be

Forgive yourself – for not being strong enough to fight for what you feel

Forgive yourself – for giving up

Life has its way of telling us and making us feel when it’s the right time. And we often close-mindedly conclude that it is the right time whenever we feel excited of meeting someone new that we find interesting, not realizing that such feelings fade.

Everyone in this world has his or her own capacity to love, each one has their own level of understanding of what love is and how to interpret it through their own means. Life’s way of measuring one’s capacity to love is not by how many times a person could fall in love over and over again, but by how far a person could go for the one he loves.

When things don’t work out and it’s best to go, let go. Letting go is not cowardice, it’s not escaping from the burden of a relationship that’s bound to fall, it’s choosing to save whatever is left to save.

“Before I go, I wish you nothing but happiness. I hope you continue reaching your dreams and keep on achieving your successes. I’ll forever be thankful because you came into my life and made me stronger. Always remember to be the better person that you promised you’d become, not for me, not for anyone, but for yourself. And when you meet the right one, choose to look at things beyond temporary, because that’s what relationships are about. Don’t let love go, this time.

Maybe we are meant for something and someone better than we thought we were for each other. For whatever reason life has that made our paths crossed, I am and forever will be grateful.

‘til we meet again.”

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