Last One

1. This is probably the last one.  I know that it has been a difficult roller coaster ride for us but I’m happy that I got wonderful memories to cherish, beautiful stories to tell and past that I can look back to, to move forward and make things right for myself.

2. This is probably the last one. It may never be enough to tell all the things that I want to say, all the emotions that I feel and all the moments I spent thinking what else to do to make it work.

3. This is probably the last one – the last time I’d ever think about all the struggles I have been to, all the pain that I felt, all the fears that swallowed me wholly and caged me in the dark.

4. This is probably the last one – you’ll ever see me weak. I have not only learned on how to cope with it but also on how to make it become my strength, my energy to be better, my fuel to burn and shine brighter.

5. This is probably the last one – that I will make myself look stupid for believing. Believing that everything can be perfect, for believing that it could last.

6. This is probably the last one – I will tell myself that I deserve better. Because I know that there will be better things coming my way, and this time, I will be happy.

7. This is probably the last one – I’d want to remember myself doing as I look back from the past. I want my words to be felt by those reading it and remind them that they don’t deserve to be stuck in the past.

8. This is probably the last one – you’ll ever see me cry. Because all the tears that dropped from my eyes, from my sleepless nights, were for the wrong things.

9. This is probably the last one – thing you made me realize. Not everything is meant to stay. But I have never regretted every single moment of it, from the bests to worsts.

10. This is probably the last one – sorry you’ll hear from me. Because apologizing means admitting I wasn’t that perfect too. Sorry for being too idealistic from the beginning and not realizing it’s not to be reciprocated after all.

11. This is probably the last one – time I’d ever want to see you. Because seeing you will only remind me of the wasted chances I spent on you, chances that could have been given to those who deserve it better.

12. This is probably the last one – I want to do before the year ends, and that is to forgive you and myself. You for all the things you’ve done, and me for not realizing my worth.

13. This is probably the last one – the last thing I’d like to remind myself of you. And that is you being a blessing in my life. You who have made me happy, even for just a short period of time.

14. This is probably the last one – thing I’d like you to remind me of. Remember me as the one who did it all.

15. This is probably the last one – wonderful thing that made my 2017 worth it. And it’s me knowing those who really cares and knows my importance. I’ll always be grateful to them for not leaving me behind and helping me see the brighter things in life.

16. And the last one – time I’ll thank you. For coming into my life and making me the best version of myself today. I’ll forever remember you not for the wrong things but the right ones. It may not be our time, it may not be us to begin with, but nonetheless, it was by far the best that I had, and I’m looking forward to a better version of it, with the right one, this time.

Thank you, 2017.

Happy New Year!

-HC

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