Upon reading the inside-out, the very first page of the said chapter already discussed some issues that people experience. Those are not just people; some of them were even professionals in their own fields. It made me realize no matter how you think a person can be very successful where everyone thinks that he’s got everything that he wanted, there would always be something that makes him feel incomplete. Then it made me think and realize that people have this never-ending satisfaction. We tend to tell ourselves that we are satisfied but within us, there is this feeling that we want more. Similar to when we were kids and tell our parents that we want that toy. As the years pass, we then realize that we want something else: something better. Each and every one of us feels this incompleteness inside and it makes us crave for what we want to have. There are certain things that we just can’t keep our minds off. The moment we saw it, our impression is that we need to have it.
Why do people say that first impressions are important? Well, maybe because it defines a person from other people’s point of view. Those are their perceptions of the particular person that they are referring to. In our Psychology class for instance, during our first semester here at San Beda College, our Psychology teacher asked us to get a one whole paper, write our names and pass it to others and let them write what they thought of you. When I got my paper back, I was surprised that most of the words written there was “matalino”. Then I thought why do they think I’m intelligent? Was it because I had glasses? Or maybe I look nerdy. Well, whatever their reasons are, I’m quite flattered. Of course, you wouldn’t want them to turn those positive perceptions of you into negative, right? So I studied hard, got good grades and made it to the dean’s list. That is when I felt like I didn’t let them down. It felt good.
Of course, not all perceptions are positive; reading the inside-out, paradigm shift made me remember a classmate. I had this classmate during high school. Our first impression of him was that he was lazy. No matter how hard he tries to cope up with us, he was always the last-picked whenever we had groupings, or he had the least friends. Then I just asked myself upon writing this realization. Was he really that lazy? Or maybe it’s just because we thought he was? Was he lazy because he had low grades during tests? Or maybe we were just overreacting? Those are some questions that appeared into my mind. Maybe he was not lazy at all. He just didn’t have the chance to explain why he was having low grades during tests. Maybe there’s a valid reason. We were just too busy in thinking negative about him that we forgot to look deeper.
The point is, no matter how hard you try to change certain things; you really can’t change it if you wouldn’t allow yourself to change your perception. It will just be futile because you don’t even believe in that change. Changing your perception is like believing that that particular person would attain success. That is how powerful a perception can be. It can create and destroy a person’s life.
I believe that another reason for a person to feel pressured is the expectations that people expect from him. Maybe if they try to let him be ‘him’ and just accept him for who he is, there would be less conflict. Who wants to be pressured anyway? None. Being pressured feels like having cameras with you 24/7 where each and every move you make is recorded, evaluated, and controlled. I once felt that I was pressured. Being in a Chinese family, I’m sure that you’ve heard that it is quite strict. Each decision that you make needs to be consulted. In my own point of view, what’s hard in being in a Chinese family is that you would be feeling a certain point of expectations. Not because they told you so, but because of the feeling that they are trying to give you. I had to do my best in everything. Academically speaking, I was really working hard because I don’t want to disappoint them. Making them proud was always one of the top reasons why I study hard. And one of my main goals in life is to be successful.
“Success” is one of the words that many people would die for. Who doesn’t want it? I believe that each and every one of us wants to be a successful person in his or her own way. To be successful, you must think and act like one. Success is like studying. A student can be able to attain success by studying. By studying, they must listen, read and understand so that they will pass. But cheating, copying and cramming can also make a student have a passing mark. Though do you think that if you passed out of those you can be able to call yourself successful? I don’t think so. Successful requires having a strong foundation. In school, of course it is knowledge. You can pass the test through cheating but you will never have the knowledge that a student who studied have. Therefore, you will never be successful with things that you didn’t work hard for. Attempting to shortcut paths to success might lead to destruction. It can simply be associated with a beginner and an expert. When a beginner tries to fit in with the expert’s side, either he fails tremendously and embarrass him, or worse. The point is that some people act as if they were in the higher position. If there is one word perfect to describe it, it’s “pretention”. Pretending something that you are not means that you thought of yourself as barren.
Realization comes when you learned new things about something that you were not aware of before. That’s how I see it with what Paradigm is. Looking things differently mostly says it’s normal because each and every one of us has his or her own perceptions with things. I just found out how behavior and attitude plays an important role in people’s perceptions. Behavior talks much on what a person can do whenever something occurs. While attitude plays an important role in making people how you can handle a thing that comes in your way. Positive thinking always helps in making problems lesser.
Inside-out simply means that before we start that ‘change’ in others, we first have to change ourselves. Starting with inside can help change your self-belief, attitude, and character into better ones. I realized that with every problem that you encounter, you can always think of what you can do to it. And by thinking, it doesn’t mean thinking for solutions that starts with others, rather than thinking for solution that starts with you. With yourself: With what you can do to solve it. Always think that change starts within you. So if you want certain people to change, you have to show them that they could change.